The Hungry Dan: A Steely Dan-themed restaurant

I’ve had this silly idea on my mind for years so I thought I would finally share it. I live in Wisconsin where just about every bar is a Packer bar. I am a huge Packer fan and I love all the Packer bars here in Wisconsin. I am also a major Dan fan, so I came up with the idea of a Steely Dan bar/restaurant. It would be called “The Hungry Dan”. The restaurant would probably have to be located in New York City, where I’d imagine there to be the most Steely Dan fans.

Here are a few items that would be on the menu:

Food Menu

• The Double Becker Burger

• The Gaucho Burger: A Mexican cheeseburger with a bodacious cowboy kick

• The Deacon Bleu Burger: A bleu cheese burger for the losers of the world

• The Juicy Josie: A Jucy Lucy burger served the Steely Dan way

• The Hungry Dan Burger: A one pound burger with two pounds of toppings. Finish this delicious monster and a side of Charlie Freak fries in under 10 minutes and you will receive a Steely Dan t-shirt. Think you are up for it?

• Mr. Chow’s Szechuan Dumplings

• Katy’s Fried Chicken

• Rikki’s Reuben

• The Fagen Fajita

• Peg’s Pizzas

• Aja Salad: Chinese chicken salad

• Connie Lee’s Springtime Salad

Sides

• Hot Pretzles: Only 15 ¢

• Charlie Freak’s French Fries

• Dr. Wu’s Wings

• Louise’s Red Beans and Rice for a quarter

Drink Menu

• Cuervo Gold Tequila: It’ll make tonight a wonderful thing

• Piña Colada: Served with a pair of bad sneakers

• Big Black Cow: Root Beer can substitute the rum for the little guy

• Bab’s Zombie Cocktail: Served in a cocoa shell

• San Franciscan Kirschwasser: Served in a shell

• Scotch Whiskey: WARNING - If you drink it all night long, you are putting yourself at a high risk of dying behind the wheel

• Grapefruit Wine: It’s Party Time!

• Lucy’s Coke and Rum

• Show Biz Kids’ Booze

• Gaslighting Abbie’s soothing herb tea with a spike of Deludin

• Gina’s Tanqueray

• Gretchen’s Cuban Breeze Cocktail: Only to be served by the waitress, Gretchen

• Kid Charlemagne Shake

• Squonks’ tears (It would really just be over-priced water)

Steely Specials

• Every Sunday would be an all-day Happy Hour: It would be cheap but it wouldn’t be free

• Three Pitcher Deal: Buy two pitchers, get the third pitcher free

• Lester the Nightfly special: ½ price appetizers after 10PM

• Free piece of cake every January 10 and February 20

The Atmosphere

• The walls would be covered in pictures of Walter and Donald. There would also be framed Steely Dan album covers.

• A sign on the entrance door would say: “Hello one and all!”

• A sign by the exit would say: “Take your big black cow and get out of here!”

• On the men's room door, it would say “Dans” and on the ladies’ room door it would say “Dannettes”.

• The music: Obviously Steely Dan. Walter and Donald’s solo work would also be appropriate. Maybe Donald would even come in and sing from time to time. Then again, maybe not.

• All employees would be required to have a shapely bod, they’d have to wear a Steely Dan t-shirt, and for the coup-de-gras they’d be outrageous.

• All waiters would be required to wear a fez.

• All waitresses would be wearing green earrings.

So, do you think a place like this could actually work?

Or am I only a fool for saying this?