I’ve had this silly idea on my mind for years so I thought I would finally share it. I live in Wisconsin where just about every bar is a Packer bar. I am a huge Packer fan and I love all the Packer bars here in Wisconsin. I am also a major Dan fan, so I came up with the idea of a Steely Dan bar/restaurant. It would be called “The Hungry Dan”. The restaurant would probably have to be located in New York City, where I’d imagine there to be the most Steely Dan fans.
Here are a few items that would be on the menu:
The Double Becker Burger
The Gaucho Burger: A Mexican cheeseburger with a bodacious cowboy kick
The Deacon Bleu Burger: A bleu cheese burger for the losers of the world
The Juicy Josie: A Jucy Lucy burger served the Steely Dan way
The Hungry Dan Burger: A one pound burger with two pounds of toppings. Finish this delicious monster and a side of Charlie Freak fries in under 10 minutes and you will receive a Steely Dan t-shirt. Think you are up for it?
Mr. Chow’s Szechuan Dumplings
Katy’s Fried Chicken
The Fagen Fajita
Aja Salad: Chinese chicken salad
Connie Lee’s Springtime Salad
Hot Pretzles: Only 15 ¢
Charlie Freak’s French Fries
Dr. Wu’s Wings
Louise’s Red Beans and Rice for a quarter
Cuervo Gold Tequila: It’ll make tonight a wonderful thing
Piña Colada: Served with a pair of bad sneakers
Big Black Cow: Root Beer can substitute the rum for the little guy
Bab’s Zombie Cocktail: Served in a cocoa shell
San Franciscan Kirschwasser: Served in a shell
Scotch Whiskey: WARNING - If you drink it all night long, you are putting yourself at a high risk of dying behind the wheel
Grapefruit Wine: It’s Party Time!
Lucy’s Coke and Rum
Show Biz Kids’ Booze
Gaslighting Abbie’s soothing herb tea with a spike of Deludin
Gretchen’s Cuban Breeze Cocktail: Only to be served by the waitress, Gretchen
Kid Charlemagne Shake
Squonks’ tears (It would really just be over-priced water)
Every Sunday would be an all-day Happy Hour: It would be cheap but it wouldn’t be free
Three Pitcher Deal: Buy two pitchers, get the third pitcher free
Lester the Nightfly special: ½ price appetizers after 10PM
Free piece of cake every January 10 and February 20
The walls would be covered in pictures of Walter and Donald. There would also be framed Steely Dan album covers.
A sign on the entrance door would say: “Hello one and all!”
A sign by the exit would say: “Take your big black cow and get out of here!”
On the men's room door, it would say “Dans” and on the ladies’ room door it would say “Dannettes”.
The music: Obviously Steely Dan. Walter and Donald’s solo work would also be appropriate. Maybe Donald would even come in and sing from time to time. Then again, maybe not.
All employees would be required to have a shapely bod, they’d have to wear a Steely Dan t-shirt, and for the coup-de-gras they’d be outrageous.
All waiters would be required to wear a fez.
All waitresses would be wearing green earrings.
So, do you think a place like this could actually work?
Or am I only a fool for saying this?