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Ben Bens
Mar 21, 2019
In Everything Else
I’ve had this silly idea on my mind for years so I thought I would finally share it. I live in Wisconsin where just about every bar is a Packer bar. I am a huge Packer fan and I love all the Packer bars here in Wisconsin. I am also a major Dan fan, so I came up with the idea of a Steely Dan bar/restaurant. It would be called “The Hungry Dan”. The restaurant would probably have to be located in New York City, where I’d imagine there to be the most Steely Dan fans. Here are a few items that would be on the menu: Food Menu The Double Becker Burger The Gaucho Burger: A Mexican cheeseburger with a bodacious cowboy kick The Deacon Bleu Burger: A bleu cheese burger for the losers of the world The Juicy Josie: A Jucy Lucy burger served the Steely Dan way The Hungry Dan Burger: A one pound burger with two pounds of toppings. Finish this delicious monster and a side of Charlie Freak fries in under 10 minutes and you will receive a Steely Dan t-shirt. Think you are up for it? Mr. Chow’s Szechuan Dumplings Katy’s Fried Chicken Rikki’s Reuben The Fagen Fajita Peg’s Pizzas Aja Salad: Chinese chicken salad Connie Lee’s Springtime Salad Sides Hot Pretzles: Only 15 ¢ Charlie Freak’s French Fries Dr. Wu’s Wings Louise’s Red Beans and Rice for a quarter Drink Menu Cuervo Gold Tequila: It’ll make tonight a wonderful thing Piña Colada: Served with a pair of bad sneakers Big Black Cow: Root Beer can substitute the rum for the little guy Bab’s Zombie Cocktail: Served in a cocoa shell San Franciscan Kirschwasser: Served in a shell Scotch Whiskey: WARNING - If you drink it all night long, you are putting yourself at a high risk of dying behind the wheel Grapefruit Wine: It’s Party Time! Lucy’s Coke and Rum Show Biz Kids’ Booze Gaslighting Abbie’s soothing herb tea with a spike of Deludin Gina’s Tanqueray Gretchen’s Cuban Breeze Cocktail: Only to be served by the waitress, Gretchen Kid Charlemagne Shake Squonks’ tears (It would really just be over-priced water) Steely Specials Every Sunday would be an all-day Happy Hour: It would be cheap but it wouldn’t be free Three Pitcher Deal: Buy two pitchers, get the third pitcher free Lester the Nightfly special: ½ price appetizers after 10PM Free piece of cake every January 10 and February 20 The Atmosphere The walls would be covered in pictures of Walter and Donald. There would also be framed Steely Dan album covers. A sign on the entrance door would say: “Hello one and all!” A sign by the exit would say: “Take your big black cow and get out of here!” On the men's room door, it would say “Dans” and on the ladies’ room door it would say “Dannettes”. The music: Obviously Steely Dan. Walter and Donald’s solo work would also be appropriate. Maybe Donald would even come in and sing from time to time. Then again, maybe not. All employees would be required to have a shapely bod, they’d have to wear a Steely Dan t-shirt, and for the coup-de-gras they’d be outrageous. All waiters would be required to wear a fez. All waitresses would be wearing green earrings. So, do you think a place like this could actually work? Or am I only a fool for saying this?
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Ben Bens
Feb 20, 2019
In Everything Else
Today is February 20, 2019 and I’m sure we all know what that means- Walter Becker’s 69th Birthday! Today also marks the 45th anniversary of Pretzel Logic (the album was released on Walter’s 24th birthday). As I was listening to Pretzel Logic this morning, I was examining the picture on the album cover. A few questions popped into my head. Who is the man selling pretzels? Was the picture staged? Or did the photographer, Raeanne Rubenstein, just decide to take a picture of some random New York street vendor, and use him in the picture for the cover photo? Also, on the sign that says, “Hot Pretzles 15 ¢” was ‘Pretzels’ intentionally spelled ‘Pretzles’, or was that a typo? If anyone knows the answers to these questions, please let me know. Once again, Happy Birthday Walter!
Logical questions about Pretzel Logic content media
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Ben Bens
Nov 22, 2018
In Everything Else
50 years ago today, The Kinks released their album "The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society". Upon listening to the album this morning, it dawned on me that the second track on the album, "Do you Remember Walter?" would be a great song for Donald Fagen and the Steely Dan band to cover, as a tribute to Walter Becker. Yes, I know the style of the tune doesn't exactly sound 'Steely Dan-esque', but still, I think Donald could pull it off. And, the lyrics would be perfectly appropriate: "Walter, remember when the world was young and all the girls knew Walter's name? Walter, isn't it a shame the way our little world has changed. Do you remember Walter playing cricket in the thunder and the rain? Do you remember Walter smoking cigarettes behind your garden gate? Yes, Walter was my mate. But Walter, my old friend, where are you now?"
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